My start back into blogging...

It has been very hard for me to get on the Blog after all that has happen. It seems like the Blog was the final steps to my husbands life and it brings back so many memories of all the rotten things that he had to contend with just to stay here on earth with us. I really can’t say that it has gotten much better in the last couple of months. I always thought if the cancer were to take Kent he would be so much better off than having to put up with our medical system using him as a Ginny pig. The one thing that had became evident about our cancer cures is that they slowly take your body apart piece by piece and somebody is making a lot of money off of them. Sorry guess I’m still a little bitter.

Life has gone on and it has been a hard lesson trying to do it without Kent. He always had the answers and if he didn't, he had the push to find them. He was a man with a lot of drive, a lot of love, and a lot charity. I look around at all that he had done here on the farm and all the love he showed to others and am amazed that anyone could ever fill his shoes. I haven’t been able to say a prayer yet without falling apart and thanking him for the love that he always had for his children and me. Kent also has a great deal of love for all of you and I am sure he is pulling as many strings as he can to try to make our lives without him as easy as he can.

Since Kent has passed away I was able to take a trip to Dutton Montana and visit with my loving cousins and Aunt Millie (moms younger sister) at Dutton’s 200-year reunion. I took Tam with me and we had a ball. I just wish I could of taken Michelle also. My kids really don’t know their cousins on my mothers side and it would be fun for them to get together more. I guess its time for me to have another reunion.

Tam and I went to the Bingham family dinner on our way, wow that was so hard to see all those brothers, they all have so many features and manners that are like Kent’s and it was almost a shock to be with all of them. Kent was blessed with a great family and siblings that truly love him.

We took off from the Bingham dinner in Brigham City at 9:00pm and were in Great Falls Montana by 3:30am. We caught a quick nap at my cousin Mikes home and headed the last 30 miles to Dutton in time for the parade. I got to spend time with my two cousins Lorie Ann and Linda; we three were all born in the Choteau hospital all with in a few months.

We took a trip over and got pictures but the hospital had been changed to a book story. We also got some pictures of my Grandma Caufields home, or I should say her and her second husbands home. It was so nice to renew the love and friendships that we all share.

Mike and Herbbie have always shown my family a great time and have always been very loving. I’ll let you in on a little secret, I was in deep love with my cousin Mike when I was a small girl and couldn't figure out why it was wrong, I was always so excited to go to uncle Johns farm cause Mike was going to be there. I also got to spend time with my cousin Ronnie and he is such a sweetheart and I have got the pleasure of getting to know him more when Kent and I had the reunion here at our farm several years ago. I miss all of them so much and can’t wait tell I can be with them again.

Ronnie and Carol came to Payson on a little trip of Utah after the Dutton reunion and I got to meet and get to know Ronnie’s love, Carol. We decided to take the Timpanogous Cave trip one day. Just before Timp we were to the Thanksgiving gardens. The gardens were a nice little walk but Timp well I thought I was going to die.

Ronnie kept making jokes and I would laugh, problem was I had no air to laugh with so it was twice as hard to walk straight up hill. I knew at any point I was going to run into Kent cause we were that high. Every time we would go around another corner I thought my legs were going to give out. Carol kept stopping for Ronnie and me and at the end I told them to just go on. Here I had been working out at the gym five days a week, doing the treadmill at an incline of 10% and I felt like a noodle. Well as you can tell I lived and had a wonderful time with the two of them. Needless to say I am working twice as hard at the gym but its not to try that climb again, I am hoping to start doing a little more climbing in the future.

Thank you all for the calls and visits and for the concern that you have shown me. I think it’s just going to take time. I’m not trying to avoid anyone I just can’t live the life I had before, it’s just to hard to do it without Kent.